Naar kip centraal!

Ok, so the only words of Dutch that I learned (and retained) are to, chicken, and central.  Which may happen to be the name of a restaurant somewhere in Holland...or just a fun phrase to say.  At any rate, Dutch is super hard to understand, unless you know German or are super smart and language-savvy.  Luckily, pretty much everyone speaks English (since no other countries speak Dutch and they realize it's silly to not be able to talk with anyone else in the world), and of course are super-achievers and start learning French and German at a young age while ALSO learning English.  If that doesn't make you feel badly about yourself, most Dutch people also apparently get at the very least their Masters degree.  

They are so smart that they successfully live on mostly reclaimed land below sea level and don't get flooded all the time like Venice.  Slightly weird to think about, but the canals are pretty and I suppose make for more apartments with a nice view.  The transportation is pretty great and easy, although everyone says the best way to get around is by bike, to get "the real Amsterdam experience".  What they fail to include is that while it may be real and green and all that, it is incredibly stressful.  It is great that they have so many bike lanes and little special bike stoplights and everything, but after almost running over a few tourists and near accidents with other bikes, an hour was enough for me.  Walking is much easier and safer (if you stay out of the red-colored bike lanes).  I did get the chance to ride on the back rack of someone's bike, which was sort of more fun than riding the bike myself, but terrifying and a little unnatural.  And a last note on bikes-I learned from some local people I met that junkies will often try to steal bikes to sell for drugs, although they can really only get 5 euros or something per bike.  Sort of funny, sort of seems like a waste of time?

As for sights....I visited the Van Gogh museum (very crowded, but cool stuff), the Anne Frank House (kind of sad, but not really worth the wait), the flower market, and walked through the Red Light District.  It was slightly shocking and a little sad...but cool to see the brothels the city has been buying and turning into showrooms/shows for young designers.  On a side note, I was in Paris for a few days before that and happened to walk down the Rue St.-Denis where apparently the hookers hang out-my first amazing experience of watching a john buy condoms with his hooker....but they were slightly classier and prettier than the prostitutes in Amsterdam.  Only slightly though.  I also went to a show at Boom Chicago that was pretty fun, pretty different because of the Dutch they used at times and I think they did more simple English jokes for everyone to understand.  I should have known not to sit in front or give a suggestion, because somehow that made the unwilling audience participant for 2 sketches...the latter of which (while I did get a free cocktail) was to find me a man in the audience.  Awkwardness and embarrassing moments follow me wherever I go I guess.

Oh and plein means square. I think.